i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Alive.
So much puke
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
