i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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