ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
