ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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