I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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