There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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