In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
