She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
