just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
