So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
