I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
