people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
