how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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