its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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