They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
