i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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