you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
