Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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