Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
