Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize