I am in a vortex of obligation.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
