two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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