Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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