I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
