Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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