last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This baby is an asshole
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
