In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
