Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
