So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
