I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
