Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
