He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
