Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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