Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
