We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
