I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
