Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
