I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
