I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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