I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
