Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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