the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My pussy is not your playground.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
