all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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