this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
