I wish I could teleport
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
