sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
