Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She said her name was "party"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
