Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
