I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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