OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
