I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
