He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
