He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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