I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He? As in you personified your dick?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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