Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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